how would you describe your life

I'm only asking these questions out of curiosity, no hard-feelings. I only wanna know if you okay with the kind of life you are living. I mean, do you wake up early every morning with zeal and eagerness to get things sorted out as planned or you just lay in bed without any cause for rising until duty calls. Come on, you are aware of the type of life you are living, and I'm only asking if that is the life you wish for. And if you are in line with the goals or targets you've set up for yourself in life?. Better still, do you have any goals at all?. What of daily goals?, or anything goes?. What of priorities?. Do you have any expectations you are living up to?. Whom or what do you wanna become?. Is it achievable or its a fantasy?. Have you put any measures in place to achieving that?. Then we would look back one day and smile, cause we also have a story to tell. Remember, we only live once. And time, they say, waits for no man. It's not too late. Get a life!

A little toughness will do

Before you start reading this writing of mine, please don't take this personal or furthermore take this the wrong way. This is me hitting the nail on the head. Truth be told, I cannot come to glimpse with the reason why you easily get sucked in to any cute or nice guy that comes your way. Who is well-versed with constructing his sentences appropriately. But one thing you fail to notice is when they are done charming their way into being a part of your life, they are not very cautious of the things they say anymore. And you end up getting yourself hurt, more or less perturbed. Okay, so I wanna know what really makes you that vulnerable. And the type of guys you are into. It could be that you don't really hold yourself high-esteem and that makes you easy to prey on. All they need to do is make you feel special on several occasions and that is it, you are soaked in; trapped in their shell. Just a little toughness would do.

One thing is for sure

Time will tell. Guess you tired of hearing this. Yeah right!, I'm also tired of saying it. But I'm always trying to make a point since you keep forgetting. So it isn't really my fault, come to think of it. I don't have anything in mind as at now but you should know that time will surely tell. You can keep doing what you doing. But one thing is for sure, things will never remain the same. Cause time changes and people with it, so just be cautious of how you treat people now you have it all. Tomorrow isn't yours to decide what it comes along with.

Another Step Further

Help me out here Lord. I'm confused, knowing not where to go and whom to turn to. Unnecessary, unwanted and disgraceful things befall me. Which makes me tend to elude my focus, responsibilities and aspirations. I wish someone would see through me and offer a helping hand but anytime someone tries to get too close, I shove them off. I cannot account for all my actions but I do know that I'm not mostly myself. I seem to perceive things differently sometimes. Sometimes I take little things too seriously and other times I overlook serious stuffs that can cost me, of which I'm willing to bear the consequence. In my heart, I yearn for You, Lord and I know very well with you closer, everything will be fine but little do I take time to study my Bible and fellowship with You. I always seem to be in a hurry but result in having other priorities that benefits me not. I intend to seek You now more than ever and diligently await Your response cause I cannot take another step further in this new month without your guidance. Jesus take the wheels.

There's more you need to know

You do know much about me, and I give you credits for that. But there's more you still need to know about me. And with that, it doesn't require the previous knowledge you have about me to deduce that. It only requires patience, tolerance, love and commitment to be able to discover that part of me. And after you have known that aspect of me; it would enhance your vision on how you previously perceived me. I only hope that you wouldn't judge me from what you only know about me but you would also be willing to know me more and more as each day passes by.

When it comes to emotional matters

When it comes to emotional matters, I fumble at making my own decisions and therefore seek for another's counsel. But when someone is going through an emotional stress, I tend to be of good ears and able to suggest a suitable solution for them. Which seems to work out as I predicted and they are marveled by that and show great gratitude for my impact. Many friends I have helped out on numerous occasions, even going a step further to write an occasional message for them to give to their loved ones, including apologetic messages. All they need to do is describe their situation and I would relate to that to pen down something for them. It doesn't take much time to deduce the very words that their loved ones would love to hear. What amazes me is that when I fall into similar situations, I seem not to find the right words for my loved ones as well. This really baffles me.

I didn't really know myself

I usually go to study with Joan and the others. Recently, Brad was telling me something about Joan. That anytime she's learning with me in particular she sings songs like; Draw me close to you, never let me go. Wrap me in your arms. All I need is you. I need you oh I need you, every hour I need you. I love you forever. And many more. Hence, he thinks those selective gospel words she's been singing are meant for me in particular. I wonder how he was able to deduce this on his own. I mean, how can one be able to figure something such as this out. Totally absurd!. I just kept laughing through out while he was seriously making his point. But after he said that, I decide to observe that for myself and realized it was true. But how can I ask Joan if those words are actually meant for me. I tell you, it's interesting the stuffs people are able to figured out on their own.

Wonder why we are still friends

Sometimes, I try to give myself just a reason why we are still friends after all you've been doing to me. Even when you say hello, there are strings attached to it. And sometimes you don't want it to seem obvious so you decide to say hello three days earlier to the favor you need so you wouldn't look bad. I'm not trying to call you an opportunist but you sure act like one sometimes. I'm also not saying it's obligatory to say hello but it's nice to check up on friend every once in a while. It shouldn't be only when you are in the mood. Cause you have no idea what mood I'm in but I don't let that affect our chat. Such a behavior is not nice, would be happy if you decide to put a stop to it.

Wouldn't call it awkward.

We always have something on our minds about someone else's business. "You should have done it this way or you should have just taken your time". Only to realize that how we handle our own situation is even way more worse. We just like to comment on people's stuffs a lot. Seeing all the wrongs and pointing out vividly where they went wrong or what they didn't say right. But if we are to open our facebook timeline and scroll through all the past status we have posted and pictures we uploaded sometime ago, no one would tell us to click on delete. Well, it's easier noticing the silly things people do while we see nothing wrong with the things we do as of that moment. That is why is good to recollect on our past, to know the silly things we were interested in.

What did you say?

I was arguing with this friend of mine as usual. Cause all we do is argue. And I ended up saying "Annoying girl, no wonder we cannot be more than friends". Just then, she sent me this very picture on the left with this caption beneath it, "What did you say?". Believe me when I say I have never switched from hatred to love as fast as I did that very moment. It was like I had even forgotten about the argument, and strangely started asking weird questions like, so do you find me attractive?. Lol, after a minute I came back to my senses and could now think straight. I actually felt molested and used. She actually did that on purpose to sway me off my feet and she did that with just a picture. Shaking my head!. And all along I was thinking I was a hard-core. Ma guy, don\t do mouth.

The Cheek of it 2

Girl: Where you expecting me to welcome you with a smile. Besides, you are even a stranger I would like to know, you presented yourself as a stalker. Mind you, you started on a wrong foot to begin with. Now let me make it clear to you, that where stalkers belong is in the prison. But if you have been stalking me, you should have known by now that I like to run my mouth. It's obvious you haven't been doing your job well. Children of today, you just don't know anything about life. 
Boy: And she tries to justify her actions. You sure do like to run your mouth. Never mentioned wanting to be your friend or liking you or even getting to know you. So why are you making a big fuss out of everything. And what do you know about life?. Or you think the little you've been through is the definition of life. Everyone can run their mouths, the only difference is, we do it when necessary and not on any random stranger we do not know. You should know when someone is just messing around with you though. Anyways, bye. Girl: So you took your time to write this lengthy thing?. All you wanted to say was bye, and you could have done that simply without writing all of that. I really need to teach you how to play this game. But unfortunately your time is up, so you too bye. Boy: So as you also took your time to read this lengthy thing. When you could have just read bye and ignored the rest. Girl: I love to read and write. Boy: Okay then you can visit my blog. I'm also good at writing. Girl: Lol, Next time don't tell a pretty lady you are stalking her. Boy: "Pretty lady" huh. I"m always ready for you since you haven't yet met someone whose also good with words. Girl: Okay, now I know whom you are, I think it's not necessary going down that path again.

The Cheek of it

I told a lady I was stalking her and after a two days she had had enough and exploded. This is what transpired between us. True Story.
Girl: I remember those shoes in your profile picture, yet you say you are a stalker. I am not surprised you would use that word. You are someone I would never be friends with. Quite disappointing, but I understand where you're coming from.Why should I notice you when you are nothing.
Boy: I don't look scared. I can tell you all about me, but what use would it make since you wouldn't still know whom this is. And I wouldn't use words I may not mean, if I were you. Choice of words are very important.
Girl: Leave me alone. I am done with you. "Stalker". Laugh out loud. You are nothing but an...
Boy: We shall meet again, remember this day and all you said carefully. Bye.

A long way to go

Sometimes I just sit back and watch you do all you do. Not because I'm immune to the hurt it causes me, but just to reckon and to put things into perspective as to whether you actually care. And with much observation, I have noticed your words and actions mean two different things, which is, they go contrary to each other. I wouldn't say you do that just to test my reaction, cause if were so, I would have known by now. And you tell me you love me with this kind of attitude?. What is the guarantee we would even last a month if we were to date?. This isn't a matter of me taking things too personal as you claim I always do. I'm only stating the true fact of the matter at hand. All I'm saying is, if you actually serious about us dating then start taking me very seriously. And if not, continue hanging up unexpectedly when I call, ignoring me when you online, replying my messages as and when you please and saying hello when you feel like it. Get yourself together.

What could possibly be sweeter than this?

Distance they say makes the heart grow fonder. The more distant you are from me, the more my heart yearns for your presence. And you repeatedly telling me how dear I am to you and how I hold a special place in your heart. Time and time again, as days turns into weeks, weeks into months and months to years. So as my heart grown weaker of your affection. As I lay down in bed every morning, all I do is shut my eyes very tight hoping by the time I open them again, school would have resumed. Just to see you again. But instead, memories that we shared, late night calls, long endless text messages and exchange of pictures day-in and day-out creep in and that makes me even miss you the more. I try on multiple occasions to keep myself occupied to think less of you but at any slight break, it all comes rushing back. So I let it be and rest gently in the quiet and deepest depths of my thoughts of me and you.

Are you ready for one?

Sometimes we cover it all up by saying, he/she didn't show that much care that is why we bolted out. But the truth of the matter is, if they show adequate care and actually pass in all efforts to be our relationship partner. Would we actually accept them as our relationship partner?. Do we want all our friends to be aware or attest to the fact that this is my relationship partner?. Are we really ready for a commitment?. I'm sure we would fumble at answering likely questions as these. But all we want to believe is that, things didn't work out cause they didn't love us or they weren't consistent with their feelings. What about us?. Did we actually want a commitment and were we ready for a relationship?.

Brush it off

There is more to life than crying over split milk. Well, all translates to somethings not being worth wallowing, moping, or worrying your gifted head over. Besides if they cared enough, they wouldn't have ended the text message saying "k" or "yoo", or simply hang up the call without a courtesy goodbye. Even though you make it difficult for them to hang up the phone, anytime they call you. It's like there's nothing really to talk about or the conversation you are having with them is not really in their interest so they just hang up. You immediately called back on three occasions to ask why and they've given you no tangible reason. So why bother?, as their attitude screams,"don't bother yourself". Gentle brush of the pain, hurt, troubled heart, anger, disgust you have within you for someone who doesn't really care. And use the space for something profitable.
 

Conflated Emotions

They say "follow your heart" when in doubt, while others say, "trust your gut instincts". Truth be told, the heart as beautiful as it was carefully sculptured by Almighty God. Holds much power in the body that if it decides not to function, the whole body goes in disarray. This very heart, can also be the seat of lies that cannot be unfolded. So I would go ahead and trust my gut instincts. But that can also go wrong, leading to your worst nightmare. Instead of trying to figure out which body part is more trustworthy and to forgo all try and errors or assumptions. I would suggest you ask the Creator of both the heart and instincts for a sign. Which is Almighty God, our Heavenly Father. And you would never regret you did. Have a little faith.

A call from Mildred

I remember very well that I was dreaming about Avengers that night, when the vibration from my phone woke me up. I wasn't fully awake and I was thinking it was an alarm so I kept on cutting the line unknowingly. An hour later, I regained consciousness, peeped at my phone's screen and noticed it was an incoming call from Mildred all along. I cross-checked the time and it was 1:08am. What could she possibly want at this time?, I started recollecting memories of past events if any matched up to this mysterious call I was having. I got caught up in my thoughts and before I realized, I was having another 8missed calls. Just then, she called again and I answered, I heard her sobbing. I asked her, what the matter was?. Her voice kept fading off so I couldn't really hear the information she was carrying across. The only part I heard that made me sit up right away on my bed, was the part she said, she wanted to commit suicide. You have no idea how frightened and perplexed I was, all at once.

Lesson of 2016

One thing I took notice of, quite well in 2016, was how people lose interest in the things you do. I usually like to record myself sing and share  with my whatsApp friends and in certain groups I'm part of. After a couple of minutes or hours, those that have interest in what I do, would comment. And those that don't really care, just don't download at all, regardless the comments beneath it. And even if they do download, they don't comment. And those I have some chemistry with, go an extra mile to analyze my recordings. And with time, as the chemistry dies out, they stop downloading and commenting on the recordings all together. But as at that time, I would have met new friends that would show interest in what I do and they would do the analysis. Likewise with a blog I run. Some of those I started with, and were really into what I write, have lost interest, cause the chemistry we had died out, and new friends now show great interest. So I think what I have learnt, is not to be discouraged when friends lose interest in the things you do, cause new ones would replace them. Just stay focused and keep doing what you do best.

Dreams

Last Night I slept soundly, so peacefully that I did not dream of you. I did not dream of those crystal eyes of yours that pierces deep into my soul when you stare at me. Undressing every fear hidden within me. Nor about your warm cheeks screaming cuddle me! cuddle me!. Last night, I did not dream of you because I learned to let go, to let of the deepest desires I held within. That clung me to you so tight that I couldn't let go. Of the scription of memories that bonded us together and made us inseparable. Suddenly, it has all faded away, not willingly but as a result of your change of attitude. Those sweet, fresh, visible memories has blacked out. Last night, I did not dream of you, but of a trip far across the oceans looking on to the tranquil of mother nature and restoring a sense of self. Myself and Destiny. I held back my awakening in the morning, seeking your face in my dream last night. Disappointed, troubled, queered was I in my dream but I woke up with a new sense of humor. A brand new me, it appeared to be.

Nights with my pillow

The countless nights, I laying with my thoughts racing and scattered haphazardly. The only one that hears them are my cool comforting pillows. They are perfect listeners for my sometimes crazy thoughts and ideas. They're not judgmental, pretentious, dishonest and of course, do not talk back when I am talking. The only ones that knows my deepest secrets as I lay thinking through them. The perfect ones to listen to my cries, wipe them and of course be silent about it, yet present ears I need. Nights when we fight, they don't fight back, but take on my cruel punches. While I ease my stress and hurt. But we both know that no one can do me like Jesus does. So even with it's unimaginable ability of comfort, there's no other who takes the hurt, pain and clams my thoughts like JESUS does.

Happy New Year

Now New Year Resolutions are being set.
A time for reminiscing and drawing
up new prospects.
A year of intensified awareness in CHRIST and heightened self respect.
A time whereby we feel so grateful to GOD, we cannot express with words.
Such Unconditional love who can context?
It actually takes time to get appressed with this "Unconditional Love", Mama says.
A time whereby we feel glad we didn't give Christianity a rest, when hit with numerous test.
If it had not been for the LORD, where would we have been, Papa says
.

A Piece of My Mind

Betrayal has presented to me my own cistern, containing all the trusts, love and compassion I offered to the people I loved on a golden platter, not the usual silver platter. Which has been disregarded, crushed and dismantled. Leaving me to wallow in my own trance of hurt and pain. My heart dissolves into space preventing me from even trying to gather it's pieces to form a more resistant one. As ironic as it seems, I'm led to lead the symphony of betrayal organized by the very ones I love. Although my heart is heavy, I find myself having more compassion for my betrayers than never before. Even Jesus Christ forgave on the cross, therefore, whom am I? just a mere mortal. I strife to glue the broken pieces of my heart. Still radiating the smile I know gives hope to those who need it.

Loved Replaced

No one wishes to know the other me, the other me that sparkles every heart desire. The other me that yearns for my voice to be heard in the forest of others. I loved you once and I won't love you twice. Henceforth, I will tell you what I think  and not pretend to be nice. I dislike you now and I can dislike you over and over. You are irreplaceable and guess what? You have been replaced because someone has heard me now. And He loves me just as I am, without beauty, sexiness, curves and edges, cuteness, pink lips, admirable shape, soft and tender skin, spotless face, cherubic personality, seraphic voice, charming appearance, prim attitude, sarcastic remarks, nipping pretense as His marking scheme. And He never tries to groom me to something I'm not. He appreciates my capabilities and loves me dearly for whom I am. He admires my efforts and never let's me go nor judges my every move. He's always patient with me and attends to my needs with perfect timing. Never lets me down nor gives me excuses. His name is Jesus. And He loves you too. The love that never dies out like your love for me did.

You Chose What Suits You.

It's been a while since I blogged. It's not like I didn't want to. I just didn't have time, blah blah blah. But I've learnt a lot so much that if I tell you, you'll be shocked. And I have tons of stuffs to share it's all time. Working for God is not easy and serving Him is not either. if you are a Christian and you're not doing anything like one or your Sundays are like holidays. Then I think you're not a Christian. Because it is work that God expects that we work for Him while we young and there is time to. Gosh!, I could go on forever. I am still learning and there's a lot to, like Faith. What is my life if I work for Him but have no Faith in whom I work for? So you see?. There is quite a lot to learn. But I learnt something this week. That it doesn't hurt to believe. Just do. A friend of mine, Gloria, had a mysterious leg pain two days ago. This has nothing to do with science. She was very fine a day before the pain started. I prayed for her and I believed. Honestly, I don't think I had believed that much. but I wouldn't call it try and error either cause it wasn't. Before I prayed, I told her to also pray too and believe. I think her Faith helped in her healing too. Faith works. It really does. There is a God up there. It pleases Him when we have Faith in Him. And I know, He would never fail us if we do.

Leaving Nothing Out XIV

Yet another segment on the enticing episode of leaving nothing out. Eunice's thought on 31st Night.                                                            Eunice:

Ahhh.... December 31st, the day one which we all stand to renew our resolutions for the upcoming year. In my opinion I believe this last day of the year is set aside to recount our many, many blessings throughout the entire year thus far. This day many of us attend Church and together we sing, jubilate for the many blessings bestowed upon us and also rejoice as welcome another year. This day is not meant for "Church hopping" or time to finally lookout for friends or life partners just because everyone seems to be around. Instead let us use this one time in the year to reflect on all that has gone by within the year and also most importantly give thanks. God has done a whole lot in our lives and the least we can do is be grateful. Therefore regardless how playful we always seem to be. Let's lay it all aside on 31st Night. And put on the gown of seriousness and pour our hearts out to God.

Leaving Nothing Out XIII

Welcome to another alluring segment on leaving nothing out. Check out people comments on Christmas. 
Stella: Hmmmmm.... the issue behind Christmas these days is that people have lost touch with the major reason why we all set aside this day to celebrate and remember the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus' birth. I believe Christmas is not celebrated for the gifts we look forward to receiving but remembering that it is because of sin that Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born into this world. So see, whether or not we receive physical gifts lets remember that the greatest gift of all has already been given to us. Moreover Christmas should not be overlooked as just some mere holiday. Stefan: Good point made. I guess you highlighted vividly on the point I wanted to make. Which is about how people are blindfolded about the true meaning of Christmas. Cause even earlier today, someone told me Christmas is for kids. So you know, I agree with you totally on this point. Thanks for clarifying with the specifics. Stella:You are very welcome! And hey who says Christmas IS for kids?! Whattt???!!! Nahhh people really need to be schooled on the importance and purpose of remembering Christmas. Stefan: You know right. People are just tarnishing the image of Christmas. And even most Christians don't celebrate any longer. Cause of the numerous controversies.

Leaving Nothing Out XII

Another beguiling episode on leaving nothing out. Today we wanna know why so many people go to church on 31st Night. So let's get started.

Caleb:  For me, I go because I'm always looking forward to a better year and it's only God who can make that possible for me. Therefore, I go to thank him for the previous year and usher the incoming one into his hands. Bridget: I think we all go to thank God for the previous year and keeping us alive to see the incoming one as well. But I don't normally go to my church on 31st Night but a friend's, cause I meet a whole lot of friends way back from kindergarten. Martins: Okay for me, I move from church to church on 31st cause I wanna know what goes on in most churches and also meet friends. Cause for some friends, it's only 31st you gonna see them and also I meet a whole lot of friends I chat with but haven't really gotten the chance to see them in person on 31st as well. Especially the ladies. Thanks for reading. So my question is, do you think, there has been a total deviation from the true purpose of 31st Night?.

Leaving Nothing Out XI

Yet another tantalizing episode on leaving nothing out. Okay so on this episode we out to ask people about their views on this years Christmas. Don't go away.......................So what do you think about this years Christmas?     Fred: I just don't know what is wrong but it seems this year, I have received very few gifts and haven't really given out any myself. Only gone out once to chill with friends, aside that I'm always indoors. Quincy: For me, on Christmas, I don't joke with my pictures, so I make sure I go out to at least three nice places with friends or family just to take pictures for 2017. Then I go back on picture strike for a couple of months. Kate: I have gone out to about eight places so far. Cause I never like to stay home during Christmas. Therefore, I'm always alert to notice a program and find some friends to go with. Nancy: I just don't know what to call it. Whether it's Christmas or ordinary holiday break. Cause I really cannot see the difference. Oh ma gosh!, Even short of words. not even a single gift and I'm also broke so I guess we all sticking to Christmas wishes this year. Hoping for the best though. Feeling positive. Dwain:  For me, I think Christmas is meant for the kids. (Write your views on these comments by others.)

Leaving Nothing Out X

Yet another episode of leaving nothing out. Just an interesting chat between two friends. Can't really tell whether they are just friends or there is something more to it. Check it out for yourself.
Monica: Hello honey, take me out this Christmas err? Austin: Hello Sweedy, at least ask how I'm doing first. Anyways I'm doing good, hope you are too? Where would you like to go? Monica: Lol. I'm also good. Anywhere you would take me. Not a silent place though. Austin: Oh okay. But can you just get a place you wanna go and lemme know. Monica: Oh you figure out a place. Don't really know myself. Austin: Okay then. I'll get back to you then. Send me a picture of you err. Monica: Would be waiting honey. Today is 25th oo so get back to me on time. (Picture sent) Austin: Don't worry, I'll sure get back to you as soon as possible. Wow!, bae so fine. Wear one of dem dresses when we do go out yeah. Monica: Ain't a problem.............One Week Later....... Monica: So you didn't get back to me err. Austin: I said hello the last time but you didn't reply so I thought you weren't in the mood any longer. Monica: Oh come on, you just said hello, I mean if you really wanted to take me out you would have carried on with the message. "Logical Reasoning". Austin: Oh really?, you could have also just replied. Monica: Okay, no yawa(biggie)!, we can still reschedule it so when? Austin: Okay lemme get back to you then. Monica: Please, is okay if you won't take me out. Isn't force, was just asking if you would. Bye!