Wednesday 26 April 2017

Not moved by your messages

I think you missing the point here. You are thanking me for loving you and sharing your appreciation for my wonderful contribution and impact in your life. And I'm here, reading all these messages on my birthday from you and I should be happy. But all I see is deceit clouded with appreciation and sweet quotes. You know every time you make it seem as if I don't give you the chance to explain yourself or clarify things. But the truth is, you don't really have anything to say. Making me think you are in mourning but anytime I call a few minutes afterwards, all I hear is laughter in the background. And now see what you've turned me into. Anyway, hello to your girlfriends who are also reading this message and probably referring to me as the emotional guy as dabbed. I'm more accustomed to this mind games now. So good luck on your next move.

I think you should tell me more

It doesn't really matter. Telling you what I think only makes things worse, cause regardless how much I highlight the fact that you shouldn't get offended after reading my messages, you still get offended or affected anyway. Henceforth, I think it's fair you allow me to keep what I wanna say to myself. Cause it always seems letting it out will make things better. But I have realized, rather keeping it to myself and forgetting about it later even helps more. Moreover, I always let it all out and totally forget about it, while you still stay affected by it, which isn't healthy. I'm not gonna put us in that situation again. Surely, right now, I do have a lot to say but I would end here.

So you do have something on your mind

I may look worried but just ignore me. It's one of those feelings. It would probably fade away soon, such feelings don't last. But for now, allow me to grief. Holding it inside will do me no good. Why do you look bothered?. Don't worry I will be fine. You have your own problems to deal with, don't burden yourself with mine as well. And I know you do very much care for me. Allow me to be on my own for now. I have to think things through and put things in their right state in my mind. So lighten up and be back by evening and I will be totally fine by then.

The look on your face says otherwise II

Zack: Point well noted, but you didn't really answer my question though. My question was, what have you decided to do concerning Clara? Nathan: Come on Zack, you know me. When I choose to ignore someone I do it wholeheartedly and it's logic. But in this case, what would be the logic in ignoring her?. Cause as I said, even though she confirmed it, what I heard of her is an old matter. But she is still the same person, for that I know. And the timing was right. But what I'm saying is, nothing has changed. We are still as we are. And she really has no explanation to do cause it's not like she failed me or anything, I only needed her to know what was on my mind. And it's not like we are engaged, we are friends. So let her be.

The look on your face says otherwise

Zack: Okay I know it's really none of my business but I'm just curious so I'm gonna ask you this question. But you can decide not to answer if you don't want to. What have you decided to do concerning Clara?. After all that have happened. Nathan: I am not actually bothered, like frankly speaking, cause the things I heard about her are even from the past. So I mean, it doesn't affect me in anyway. And I'm not really bothered who she wants to be with or what she does in my absence. Cause you have no idea what I do in her absence as well. Actually, I'm not judging at all, even though I may have gotten carried away at a point. But I'm totally fine though if that is what you wanted to know.

I'm lacking ideas right now IV

 Brotherhood Group Page
Leslie: Brian, what at all do you want from the girl that you want a one-on-one time with her in your room alone?. I'm sure the girl even knows by now that you don't have any good intentions. I am telling you the truth, if she agrees to enter your room then she doesn't mind something happening between the two of you. Cause truth be told, there is no doubt you have no clear conscience about this visit. I mean, what conversation or fun can't you have with her at the club?. Ma guy, dress up and go with her. Don't slack. At least next time, you can invite her to come over after you two have had a good time at the club. But with this attitude of yours, her first impression of you now is 0.9%. But you can still make up for it. Isn't too late.

I'm lacking ideas right now III

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  Bruno: Ma guy don't mind Kelvin. I'm sure every guy in your shoes would do the same thing you are doing. Even though I wouldn't do exactly what you are doing. I'm also sure Melody decided to come to the club with her friends just to meet you and you also agreed to go with her in order to meet her as well. So the mindset is the same, the only difference is the execution. You want a one-to-one time with her, alone in your room and she also wants a one-to-one time with you in the club. So it's just a matter of coming to one understanding. I hope you are getting my analogy. Now, it's either you convince her to spend that time with you in your room or you agree and spend it with her at the club. Either way there is still a time spent. To be continued.
 

Wednesday 19 April 2017

I'm lacking ideas right now II

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Kelvin: I see an opportunity being wasted right now. So this was the reason why you came for the projector?. I see, I thought you were using it to rehearse for your project defense. But ma guy, I don't really get you. Is it force for her to enter the room?. I mean you two decided to go to the club and now you want to spend time with her in your room instead. You want her all to yourself, isn't that so? How selfish of you. I can imagine the type of dress and makeup she is wearing right now. And you want all her efforts and plans for the night to be in vain. If you would decide to invite us over and turn your room into a club for the night, fine. If not, then ma guy, get dressed and go as planned. If you can convince her to stay over too fine. But asking for ideas here is a wrong move. Cause of this, I'm even planning of coming to sleep over at your place today. To be continued.

I'm lacking ideas right now

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Brian: Guys, you remember Melody right?. The girl I met on facebook just last two weeks ago, who claimed she leaves at Ejisu. She's at my place right now. We agreed to go clubbing today but I guess you all know I'm not the clubbing type. I only agreed so I could see her. She's at my hostel right this minute. Guys, the girl is on point. I am even surprised she decided to go out with me on that short notice. She mentioned she was coming to the night club at jubilee mall on campus so we can meet up. And I mentioned since my hostel is closer from Ejisu, she can just stop by so we go together and catch up with her girls later. Now she's here and does not want to enter my room. Oh Charley!.Abi you guys already know I'm in one in a room. I swept the room again just this evening. The carpet is even sparkling for the first time. Redecorated the place. Gone for Kelvin's projector to project the movie on the wall, wide and clear. Bought drinks and all. I mean what haven't I done to pimp the room?. The girl says she won't enter. She's standing outside as we speak. Me too, I'm not ready to go anywhere. Guys, talk some sense into me. Adey slack for here oo. To be continued.

About Last Night

Last night, I almost said that I love you. I felt so emotional that I couldn't hold back my words any longer. How awkward it would have been coming to think of it now. Just trying to imagine what your facial expression would have looked like. Whether you would have said same, smiled, been silent, looked surprise or just change the subject. You may have noticed I was all over you at a point. Trying to play with your hair, put my head on top of you, play with your fingers, tickling you subconsciously, while watching this romantic movie together. It sounds weird now that I'm thinking of it. I really try to keep my hands off you sometimes, trust me. Anyways, I realized you were also emotional when you opened up to me and all. And even held me closer, I actually woke up, lying in bed, thinking of that. It really felt so good. Quite unfortunate it didn't really last, cause the look on your face showed how hungry you were. Laugh out loud!. I just cherish every moment we share dearly and I hope we on the same page. Sorry if it feels awkward reading this. You can decide not to reply if you don't feel so comfortable. Couldn't keep my thoughts to myself anyway,

I'm I even making sense?

I will tell you what I really think if only you are ready to listen. Sometimes you say you wanna know but your facial expression says otherwise. I don't really blame you though, I deserve that attitude from you since I'm not stable myself. One moment I'm saying this, the next moment I'm saying that. And other times, I'm just not in the mood to chat, so I only give cheeky answers. And after all these things, I feel not so good when I don't hear from you in a day. I realize how much I'm into you when you are away and I keep going over our selfies, duets and funny recordings we make. Moreover, anytime I see you, I just don't want us to part ways. I just wish you would stick around me the whole day but we all have things to do. The only reason I hold back at times is because of the lousy fact that I feel you've got so many loved ones and I have only you. So anytime I see a picture of you with another and I critically observe the facial expressions on your faces, I get silly ideas. And I start singing, Sam Smith, lyrics; "You say that I'm crazy but you don't think I know what you've done. But when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one".

Wednesday 12 April 2017

Justin's Opinion

Justin: I cannot stop laughing right now. Now you've understood what I meant by giving this girl some space. You are always up in her business. Leaving your apartment to her place just to listen to her talk about things that doesn't concern you in anyway. Is not that you make any impart in her life by just listening to her talk. And if it's someone she wants to talk to, she can just call and you are not the only one Does she even take any advice from you afterwards?. Laugh out loud. For me, I can be very free with you but everyone has his or her limit. If you cross yours, that is the end. We would be very free but not that free, if you know what I mean. So she actually asked you after apologizing if you had focus in life?. Then what shows she is even sorry. I don't blame her though, I blame you. Now you are thinking straight.

Dylan's Conversation

Dylan: Justin can you believe what Miriam told me yesterday?. She was praying for me that God should give me vision in life of which I gladly said Amen to. Not knowing all along, she was having this notion that all guys from Valley View High School have no focus in life and therefore lack vision. With this lousy reason of having this course mate in her group in Cambridge University who just moves with the multitude. And she has realized that traits with all the guys she knows that completed that particular high school. That, they are all vision-less, over pampered kids who don't seem to know what they want in life. And even her cousin also bares the same characteristics. All along she was talking about the guy in her group, but as soon as she generalized her case study, I begun to reflect and started recollecting data from past experiences and everything made sense as of that moment. Obviously, she did apologize for her choice of words of which I forgave her for but I knew there and then the perception she has about me. It baffles me as to why I never realized this earlier. And this saying made perfect sense to me; Out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaketh. The most annoying part was she asking me if I do have focus in life after apologizing. Imagine!.

Wednesday 5 April 2017

If you love me don't let go

Sometimes it baffles me, the rate at which you want me to forgive you on time. It's like I'm not given the time to even think things over. And it's not like I don't miss you during the times I choose to ignore you. It's just that the anger and annoyance within me outweighs the love during those moments. And every time you make a mistake, you rather have me click on backspace to erase those mistakes and replace them with new memories forgetting that I'm human and not a computer. And now you tell me, I shouldn't let go. I think that explains it all. You know what you've done and that is why you using ("if you love me, don't let go") this against me. You may succeed this time, but remember, you would never find someone as forgiving as I am.

Don't say it when you don't mean it

I think I have a little problem with forgiving people. Cause sometimes I just don't get why they would do that if they really cared about me. What splits my heart into two is when they promise they wouldn't do that again and I take their word for it and end up getting hurt again. I mean who does that. Sometimes I think I met the wrong people through my journey in life cause they are destroying certain aspects of me that would be useful when I meet the right people. "Lord, please give me the heart to withhold through these tough times and keep me away from fake people". Cause it's difficult to tell the mindset of people lately. I mean you maybe taking the person's word for it and all you know they have been planing something evil against you all along. And when I think everything through after they end up hurting me, I just don't know if I should forgive them. Cause compared to other people they are the ones that know me better and they know for sure what hurts me and they end up doing just that. And that baffles me.

It's time to let go

I wonder why I keep doing this to you. Hurts me to see you hurt, indicating how immature I can be. And every time I mess up, I fear you would walk away so I try to walk away first. I know for sure this sounds silly but I wouldn't be able to leave with myself  if you decide to let go after I mess up. Moreover, I have realized you don't know how to play along with my jokes. Noticed, my definition of joking and your definition of joking are very different. Like sometimes I expect you to just play along but you end up taking things personal, stressing on the fact that I'm selfish. And I also think I should learn to keep more of my thoughts to myself cause you don't like to hear them. I have noticed you trying to become a much better person than you are and I am the one person holding you back. And you have no idea how horrible that makes me feel and how I want to also be a better person too. But I just cannot accomplish that around you. Cause I am so much into you that, anytime I see you, I just cannot hold back the feeling.

Why do you keep doing that?

I promised myself I wouldn't let you close enough to do that again. You always promise me it would be different this time around and that you wouldn't do anything to hurt my feelings. You always stress on the fact that seeing me happy makes your day. So why have you re-visited the old selfish you again?. I almost let you in, just then you show your true self. I had so much hope that things would turn out just great but I guess you have your PhD in messing things up. You just know how to mess things up when things are faring so well. And now, you say, you want me out of your life cause you cannot seem to change around me. How is that my fault?. I have always been the same person you knew from day1 and that clearly shows you are the problem and not me. This is just to let you know that, I am not going anywhere and this is the last chance you ever gonna get, so don't screw this up again.