I wonder why I keep doing this to you. Hurts me to see you hurt, indicating how immature I can be. And every time I mess up, I fear you would walk away so I try to walk away first. I know for sure this sounds silly but I wouldn't be able to leave with myself if you decide to let go after I mess up. Moreover, I have realized you don't know how to play along with my jokes. Noticed, my definition of joking and your definition of joking are very different. Like sometimes I expect you to just play along but you end up taking things personal, stressing on the fact that I'm selfish. And I also think I should learn to keep more of my thoughts to myself cause you don't like to hear them. I have noticed you trying to become a much better person than you are and I am the one person holding you back. And you have no idea how horrible that makes me feel and how I want to also be a better person too. But I just cannot accomplish that around you. Cause I am so much into you that, anytime I see you, I just cannot hold back the feeling.
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