Just Don't

I am experiencing those kind of moments where you have a lot to say but putting it into words is the problem. Whereby I don't want to sink myself into the whole situation or else I may end up weeping an unworthy weeping. Yet I want to deal with the situation once and for all to get it out of my system. But then I realise the person I'm pouring my heart to keeps on laughing from time to time. I ask why they are not acting concerned and they reply that it's because of the way I'm conveying the message. I inquire about how exactly I'm conveying the message and they say I just don't sound like what I'm saying is actually serious and it's like I'm making it all up to cover up the actual story. And they conclude by saying that, if I don't wanna share is fine but I shouldn't make it look as if they are not ready to listen or they are not taking me serious. So then I say it's okay to cut everything short and forget about everything until I'm all by myself again, on my bed and trying to sleep. Then the feeling revisits me. It suspends my sleep and takes hold of my mind, which makes me wanna scream out the pain. But the pain clots in my heart, making it uneasy to lie down on my belly. And then I realise the essence of people having a dairy. But that isn't just my thing. For me, I suck it all in until the day it burst out. By then, I would have lost my reason of caring. Then I wouldn't care of the outcome.