Clergy Ross

Before I start this piece I wanna clarify the fact that I ain't gay, just don't have a girlfriend for now. I'm not lying if I tell you I have a lot of hi-hi friends but someone to really share personal stuffs  with I don't really have. I did have such people in my life at a point but you know in this life, is give and take. So when I realise they ain't opening up and sharing like I am, I just let them slide away. One person that has been constant in my life is Clergy Ross, he's more like family. We go way back from kindergarten. Even though we didn't go to the same senior high and university we always find a way to catch up. We talk about everything but especially the women in our life. Actually he's a cool dude, very likeable. He's always got an information you would wanna hear. Also has the rundown of people off head, more like a database system. Music is one thing we have in common. We just love and share similar taste in music.
In fact, he's the one that gave me the idea of creating a blog to keep stock of my writings since most of them just go to waste. He's got good advice which comes out once in a while and when it does you better hold on to it like I did with creating a blog. Interestingly, we both single, wouldn't go into that too much. lol. He's too careful even though it may seem the ladies he likes, ends up becoming his bestie. Walking with him is sometimes annoying cause he has countless friends so you would have to stop averagely every two minutes to say hi to someone.
Obviously, he's a gentleman and takes his time to walk. Also takes his time to analyze stuffs as well, isn't quick to judge. He likes to take risks regardless the fact that he does what makes him feel comfortable. Easily makes friends but isn't too good with text messages. He's reasonably open, takes advice, acts matured, accepts his faults but sometimes feels lazy to carry out something when he has the idea. He perceives what is expected of him and tries his best to make people feel comfortable around him. Frankly, the jovial type, considerate, influential, gives respect to whom respect is due. He keeps away from people he isn't compactible with rather than faking to like them. Clergy Ross. How would you describe your bestie, twin, or whoever is very vital in your life?
  

What People Think

 Bel: I posted one of my writings on a group page of mine and one of my friends was like; I should write something about him. And the first thought that came into mind was, if someone was to write something about me how would it be like.? What would they really emphasis on?, and would they say anything good about me?, or would the bad surpass the good?. Because I do have a couple of friends if I'm supposed to say something about them I wouldn't just have anything to say rather than to beat around the bush. Most people would say they don't really care what people have to say about them. I think it's just a way of making ourselves feel better, because when we critically analyze things ourselves, we know for sure what people would say about us. Either than everyone concluding that,  "we are okay".  We should at least get three or four people to say something special about us. It's not like it's a necessity or something but it's to know the kind of life we're living and the kind of opinions people have about us. "After all what?",  someone may say. Still ago ahead to ask a couple of your friends what they think about you and wait for a reply. And note the similarities in whatever they have to say.

How it Started

Jude was in the room on his bed going about with his usual routine when Eve walked in. She was after a roommate of his who was busy sleeping. Jude turned towards the direction of Eve and was like see her sweet self in his head which brought about a big smile on his face. Eve noticed the smile and felt comfortable at once, she joined the movie Jude was watching after she noticed her friend was fast asleep. Jude was trying to convince himself it was his charms that made her stay and not come back later so he was feeling proud of himself to get such a wonderful company out of the blue. Of Late, his friends had been saying he had lost his coolness that made him so likeable, hence, he was wishing his friends were here to  esperience his breakthrough.
But Fred, his roommate woke during their chat and then  he realized she was just using him as means to an end. lol. It did hurt him a little, oh come on!, cut him some slack. Sometimes you know how obvious something is but you try to convince yourself just to make you feel better. Anyway Jude made up his mind not to allow her use him in case she came back another time. It turned out that Eve also had a roommate who was Jude's friend so he started going over. She came over often as well but anytime she did, Jude would be in bed "pretending to sleep" as she liked to put it.
So she would leave and send him a message of how annoying he is. Since he always claims he misses her but never shows it when she comes over. He also thought it wasn't his fault since she seem pretty okay. Laughing and chatting here and there, he didn't know what she wanted him to do actually. But he realized he didn't really give her attention as she does when he goes over to hers. And that was how it all started. After a week or two they both realized they were getting emotionally attached to each other. Eve confronted Jude first about the matter and he clarified his conscience was clear and that he was just playing along and nothing else which was clearly a lie. Since he had a bad record of opening up to a girl and later realizing the girl wasn't so much interested as he was. He just couldn't keep repeating the same mistakes. Eve also decided to lay low by not getting herself involved so much for her own sake.
To Jude's surprise, Eve had the same getting emotionally attached over little things problem. It is just a strange and complicated situation to find yourself in. Despite the fact that she wants to take things to the next level, she doesn't want things to backslide since she hasn't really gotten a hold of him yet and he cannot read her mind as well. But he just hope things work out as he plans. 

And She Stopped

I have a cute friend in my hostel called Efua. She used to visit me once in a while usually when I told her I missed her and is been a while I saw her. But one day I messed up, I forgot I sent her a message telling her she should pass by when she is free. Two hours later, she knocked on my door.
Unfortunately, I had another friend over at that moment who was just with my laptop looking through my pictures, laughing and commenting. I was playing music as well and the speakers were pretty loud so it took a while to hear someone was actually at the door. Eventually, I opened up and realized it was her. Silly enough, I put on a surprised face forgetting I was the one who invited her in the first place. She stood there staring at me in a cute smile and looking adorable. Acting all baby-like. I then signaled her to come back a few minutes time and shut the door. The girl with me asked whom it was and I replied no one which I guess she heard cause we had stopped playing the music at that moment. Later I noticed how irrational I had been cause it wasn't like I was dating the two of them secretly, neither was I hiding anything from any of them but I just acted silly. I also remembered how nice she was looking, she might have showered and dressed up telling her roommates she was off to visit a friend on the last floor and she returns a few minutes later. Wouldn't they make fun of her?. She hasn't visited me after that, silly mistakes would affect you one way or the other, just avoid them.

The Question, "Why".

I'm not here to motivate you, you don't need that, obviously. Often that's what people think I do, and it's the far off from that. What happens is that, people say to me, "I don't need any motivation." But that's not what I do. I'm the "Why?" guy. I want to know why you do what you do. What is your motive for your actions? What is it that drives you in your life today? Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing. I'm here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us have great minds unless not challenged. We all know how to think. With our minds we can rationalise anything. We can make anything happen. We don't work in our self-interest all the time, because when emotion comes into it, the wiring changes in the way it functions. Everyone has got a story to tell some day, What would yours be?

Misconception huh!

Reading people's mind is a difficult thing even though some may think otherwise. One minute you think you have pinned them down and the next minute they prove you wrong. Let me tell you one story that just came in mind. I was in grade 4 by then and sitting by this girl. Guess you already aware of elementary school and pairing people up. This is your girlfriend/boyfriend and stuffs like that. I was very calm so it took me a while to start catching up with my sitting partner whilst others had started chatting even before knowing whom their sitting partner was. I then got very close to this girl called Goldie, who she felt most of her classmates didn't really like her. She started confiding in me and stuffs like that, getting all emotional sometimes. And just before I taught I knew her inside out, suddenly she changed. She claimed I broke her trust since someone also got to know of something confidential she told me. She just wouldn't listen anymore. She later found someone else to confide in and afterwards did the same thing to the person as well, then I realized it was her habit.

Tricky Questions

There are some simple questions that do not require instant replies so I call them tricky questions. An example is when someone ask you, do you love me?. This is a yes or no question and is easy to notice the person doesn't love you if they start beating around the bush and not answering the question as it is. Others say I love you as a friend, this is a much more clarified answer. Doing away with saying a yes or no which may call for other unnecessary questions or intentions that are uncalled for. But if it is a relationship-based intension you two have then simple questions like these are very relevant rather than assuming for the person based on their actions. Of course everyone is much aware of the fact that actions speak louder than words but assumptions aren't safe either. Hence ask more simple yes or no questions and don't assume. These are some of the questions you can ask;
1. Do you dislike my perfume ?    2. Do you like the way I look?
3. Do you like my friends?    4. Do you like the way I dress? 
5. Do you like the way I behave?    6.Do you find me attractive?

What do you do

I do act pretty strange sometimes of which I am very much aware of. Some call me annoying, others say I have attitude but if you have people being rude to you from infancy you develop this attitude of mine as well. Wouldn't dive into that because I know what you thinking right now, that is really none of your business. But the point I want to make is this, I realized this friend of mine was actually feeling down on herself. She didn't really highly esteem herself so I decided to help out cause I have also been there and know how it feels. I didn't really care to know why she felt that way because obviously it was as a result of past experiences, I just knew the feeling.
 So we became very close which helped me enlighten her on a few basic stuffs like    smiling frequently, behaving like a lady, not talking anyhow, knowing whom to befriend and a whole lot. Not that she didn't know but she needed to discover certain aspects of herself. And she was very calm and involved so it was very much easier teaching her since she was willing and open. She actually did call me her therapist so you can guess how far we went. So one day I proposed to her knowing very well what the answer was but wanted her to have a taste of someone pursuing her and wanting her. I took her down the road of love but I played it safe and made sure she didn't fall in the process, likewise myself. She was feeling a little more different and started seeing herself in a different way since then. Liked her better that way because as a lady you should have a little attitude and even if you are very interested you shouldn't right away say Yes or else you can easily be pranked. That was what I told her the first day we met and it was finally accomplished. It's a good thing to help someone find themselves when you discover they have an inner passion for something beneficial but they seem to cover it up. Help make someone a better person today.

Good to Feel Free

When you're interacting with someone, it's easy to ask questions like "How was your day?" but it's a lot harder to ask the big questions like "What are your thoughts on religion?" .Cause that's very awkward. When someone says to you, "How was your day?" don't respond with, "Fine. Yours?" Be more open than that. Give details. Provide examples. Share stories. People will feel more connected to you (and will probably share some of their own stories) if you open up to them. And staying in the moment means really making an effort, right in that moment, to connect with someone else. Don't think about the things you have to do later. Don't worry about what you didn't get done that day. Be present.

Esmeralda's Story

I'll be honest: I'm not a very open person. If I were a door, I would be locked most of the time. For various reasons (I won't get into them here because I'm pretty sure you don't have all day to read this post), I'm suspicious and distrusting of others. Because of my lack of trust, I password-protect everything. I'm obsessed with guarding my writing, to the point that I hesitate to let others check their email on my computer, narrowing my eyes and quickly replying, "Why? What for?" when asked if I can lend my computer for a moment. This, I know, is a problem. It's a good thing to know your problem, accept them and work towards them as well.

Explore Yourself More

You would never know how persuasive you are until you get a phone call and a friend of yours is on the brink of committing suicide. How fast you can run until you been chased by a dog. How brave you are until a thief is running off with your iPhone 6s. How smart you are until you start making up stories. How caring you are until a friend of yours is sick. How romantic you are until you meet someone you love. How un-shy you are until you organizing a friend's drink-up. How funny you are until you meet someone who always laughs at your jokes.
How silly you are until you start giving silly comments. How annoying you are until you start showing attitude. How careful you are until you buy a new car. How brilliant you are until you have a day to complete a pdf. How discipline you are until you are given a prestigious position. How friendly you are until you feel bored. How punctual you are until you have a flight to catch. There's more to you than you think.

Trust your Struggle

Clark: There is always a lesson to be learned in life, always something we can take away from a situation. Every cloud has a silver lining. Situations we go through life help shape us mentally, emotionally, and physically, these things do not happen for no reason, they happen cause they're helping us become the person we supposed to become. It shapes our thinking, due to our experiences.
Not anyone believes this because they know the hell they've been through and that it's easier said than done. They just don't understand why God would allow their business collapse, baby or relative die, mother go on comma just before school reopening, father go jobless for someone's mistake. In fact, all hell breaks lose on them and God would watch them struggle like no man's business. And you wanna tell them all that is for "some reason". They seriously don't wanna hear the Story of Job during such times, it really pisses them off. But they forget God also watched His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ, go through hell just for "some reason". What about that?..
One thing I have discovered in life is that, the causes why things happen are easily known with good analysis but for reasons why thimgs happen, it takes a long while to actually discover after critical analysis. Some don't understand theirs, because they choose not to, others find it pointless.
Some say, it is what it is and move on. But sometimes the reason why we struggle is to pave way for others or our generation or become a role model for others like Nelson Mandela or helps us think twice when opportunities come our way. Sometimes, it could a curse someone placed on our parents. Remember, when Jesus met the man born blind and healed him. He was asked if he was blind because of the sins of his father or mother. Jesus replied, no, he was born blind to be healed for the glory of God to be shown. Believe it when we say, "Everything happens for a reason".

Does Everything happen for a reason

Does everything happen for a reason? Yes, it does. Nothing happens without a cause. The unspoken premise of the question is at fault. The query is questioning whether something can happen without divine intelligent control. Regardless of the reality of that argument, the logical truth remains that nothing can happen without something causing it. If a coin is flipped, it will come to rest as heads, tails, or on its edge. Any of the three outcomes have an exact reason for the final result. All of the elements of that reason may not be understood, but taken as a group, contributed to the outcome.

Collete's Story

Trust me, since I was first held down and raped at 5 years old, I have tried to find a meaningful reason or purpose to explain it, but there just isn’t one. Not everything is meant to be. I like to think that if they could, God’s followers would try to intervene and help me if they saw my childhood body being broken and abused, and not just write it off as something that was meant to be, and will make me stronger one day. When people say it ‘happened for a reason’ – although I know they’re trying to be hopeful and optimistic- it feels like they are absolving the perpetrator of blame or wrong doing, and denying me the right to be upset or damaged by my past. They say ‘the abuse doesn’t matter, what matters is how you grow and recover from it’, but actually these are horrendous things that need to be processed, not dismissed.
For me, pretending that everything awful thing that happened to me is just an opportunity for self-improvement and part of a perfect plan, that I can’t understand yet, is more often harmful than hopeful. I have tried to grow and strengthen through all the abuse I suffered, and I’m going to continue trying to make the most of where I am, but I’m not going to pretend being raped and beaten has improved me. It has shattered me. (You may have a similar story but I pray Romans 8:28 would keep you going.)

Controversial Topic

When I hear some people say they have no reason for what they did, it keeps me wondering. In principle I do believe everything happens for a purpose. We may never know the purpose, may not need to or may not be ready to know the purpose. Looking for the purpose may also not be the most helpful thing at certain times. I believe God’s plans are comprehensive and always carried out. He is not a weak God being surprised or stumped by tragedies and disasters. He is in absolute control. And He is good. I would rather avoid the risk of painting God as out of control. I believe we cannot even try to interpret His motives unless He reveals them to us. I believe in hiding in His Almighty Power.

A Break Off

It's a good thing to give yourself a break once in a while
just to get your mind off things. It helps you regain focus
and think straight if you weren't. It also enables you to rethink
and reconsider any hasty decisions you made. You'll surely realize
your mistakes and correct them if you want to. Brings you back on
track if you were distracted. It's a necessity, that's why we grant leave
permits at work places to take some time-out and also during sports to
help players release tension. Give yourself a break!

Lousy Misunderstanding

Blaise decided to go home after school today. It was blackout at
 home so his sisters decided to relax at the balcony since it was hot inside.
The sun was really scorching that day, so about 60seconds away from the
house he started taking off his top whilst he was maundering about the weather
condition. Little did he know his younger sister had spotted him from afar
and shouted  "Look, BB  is becoming mad oo". His other sisters hearing this
turned in his direction and join in the howling. He heard the noise coming from
his house and looked towards that direction. He then realized he was the cause
of the wailing, since his sisters were pointing fingers at him and looking at him with disgust. He turned around started running away whilst he was thinking about all the naughty stuffs he had done in school that semester. Counting the number of friends that knew his siblings in his head. Would you have done any different if you were him?. Yeah obviously.

Meeting Someone

We all meet someone new everyday. It could either be
through a friend, face-book, whatsapp, twitter and many others.
At the start the friendship maybe a little shaky but after a week we
just know where exactly the person fits in our life. Whether the ignore,
rejection, friendship or relationship zone. It all depends on us and how we
relate to them. Meeting someone isn't any more exciting cause we just know
we ain't gonna meet anyone different from the group of people we know and
have categorized. But is actually our lifestyle that attracts certain kinds of people
into our life. Even though some people are just lessons in our life. 

Ruining Your Chances

Have you met anyone you think have been ruining
your chances with others?. Is like they introduce
you to their friends by saying meet my husband.
Or they mostly all over you in public making people
think otherwise but you know very well there's nothing
between you two but others just can't believe so. Cause
you two are mostly seen together and you seem to like
each other from people's observation but is the other way
round. And you used to being around the person that when
you start distancing yourself cause of what people think
it would be like you two fought or something so you just say
to hell with what people think and do what you do.

Avoiding Heartbreak

I understand why people get heartbroken when
they could see the signs from the word go but are
still blinded by love. I don't blame them entirely
but the ones they fall for. We are the ones who are
simply heartless by leading you on with false hopes
knowing very well we have lost interest. But we just
don't know how to tell you with the excuse of not wanting
to lose you, hurt you, upset you and many more. It's up to you
to read in-between the lines during such times. And you should
take note of comments like I almost choose you as my boyfriend
or girlfriend. This shouldn't make you happy, it's rather a clear
indication you've been rejected. And don't think you have a shot
if you try harder or something, cause the sentence designates the fact
that we have targeted someone else. Comments like these are actually a
full package but we seem to misinterpret it. Also when we always find a way
to change the topic when you bring up anything concerning relationship or
matters concerning both of us. And when we seem to ignore your i miss you
or i love you messages or sometimes we simply just smile or divert the topic
in reply cause we don't wanna go down that road with you. As I said earlier,
it's up to you.

Proving a Point

I noticed that it's not every time we are
supposed to prove a point. Sometimes we just have
to make people think whatever they want to think.
Proving a point is good but can sometimes backslide.
I just heard a 22years old boy sentenced to life imprisonment
after proving a point of being stronger than his friend of which
he ended up killing. Sometimes we just have to let things go.

Creativity

I didn't believe at first that there was a disadvantage
attached to every good thing. But I realized that being
creative can also be a disadvantage sometimes. My point being
that, I was caught up in a situation whereby I was supposed to
explain myself for a certain behaviour I put up at a friends
get-together party. Before I could open my mouth to explain
she warned me not to make up any story. Her words being,
" Don't try that your creativity thing on me". It sounded more
like a threat that I even panicked. lol

Can't Explain

Have you ever been caught up in a situation
whereby someone walked up on you and you didn't
know how to explain yourself?. Like your brother's
friend meets you in the club knowing very well you
should be in school when the reason why you went there
is because your roommate took the room keys along and told you
to come for it since it's just a 15minutes drive away. It could
also be that the boy/girl you like walks up on you in your room,
hugging someone else with your eyes closed.
By the time you realize she was standing there the whole time she
just walks out. Another scenario could be that your mom enters your
room while you in a shower and decides to lay your bed and discovers
a condom under your bed and then you walk in. Lastly, your boyfriend
or girlfriend walks in on you when his/her friend has just kissed you
unexpectedly. It's just difficult to explain yourself in certain situations.
Even if you do, would the one you explaining to trust you.

Feeling Special III

Everyone loves to feel special around someone they like the most.
It's a normal expectation, which calls for a certain kind of jealousy.
And everyone has someone he/she likes the most. If only they are being
sincere to themselves. So the moment we realize that someone else is
benefiting from something we saw to be special between just the two of
you then that special feeling is replaced with something else. It could be
a term you thought only you two understood or many other things.

Feeling Special II

Adrian met this girl who liked calling him with
sweet words like honey, sweetie, bae and many others.
He felt special anytime she did that in public or during
private chats. Then he one day took her phone during one of his
visit to her whilst they were conversing and what he saw just made
that special feeling disappear. Since then anytime she used those sweet
words on him, he just felt like vomiting or choking to death. It just
disgusted him all of a sudden. 

Feeling Special

I guess you know this feeling
very well if you have experienced
what I'm about talking about. You know
the kind of feeling you have when you think
you the only one they do that to until you realize
they do that to everyone. Edwin had a friend called
Sia. They met at church and he realized this girl loved
hugging him, cause anytime they said welcome your neighbour
to church. This girl will locate him where-ever he was for
a hug. He felt special in a certain way, since she just
handshakes the rest. But he visited her one day and discovered
the kind of warm hugs she gives her visitors then that sense of
feeling special just left his system. You'll get this feeling if
you've only had a similar experience.

Disputable Fact

I don't know about you but due to my past experiences
I have learnt to trust God with my all but man with only my head.
Cause my heart is something I wouldn't want anyone to mess with and
I guess so do you. Obviously people exaggerate by saying I love you
with all my heart or I trust you with every marrow of my bones.
Yet they get suspicious after seeing you with the same person twice
or more. Don't be deceived with words, of course, these days actions
don't move people that much to talk of words but love is blind.

Takes Time

It takes time to really get to know someone.
Sometimes you'll think you know them very well
but they can surprise you unexpectedly. It takes
few seconds to guess whom someone is but it takes a
while to actually know why they do what they do.

And She Left

Please listen to my story and comment for me,
he said. I went to church, an all night service to be precise
with my girlfriend. The pastor called out all bachelors
whom would marry soon in front. I also joined and when I returned
I saw a note, "Foolish Boy".  and I haven't heard from her since.
Was it my fault?, he asked and there I stood speechless.

Wednesday Afternoon

I met a girl today at the mall. As soon as I saw her
I smiled and it was like I was suddenly happy. She was
facing my direction and walking towards me. I was hitting
my head just to check if I wasn't day dreaming. So I stood there
waiting for her to catch up with me whilst I was looking around to
make sure I wasn't mistaken. I took out my phone just in case her
contact would be made known to me. She was slim but had a model-like
figure and walked like a model as well. It was nice to watch the way she swerved
left and right as she approached me. She was wearing green pants, a black nice footwear, a black overcoat and a green inner with her designer bag. I'm slightly taller than she is as I pictured her from afar. I realized her pupil were actually ash as she got closer. She smiled and I felt like jumping. Wow, I need to take a selfie with this girl. This would be the topic of the month. Like I wouldn't change my profile picture for a month. The way she was tossing her hair left and right was so ravishing. Just when she finally got to me, I reached out my arms for a hug. it lasted for roughly 5seconds, almost fell asleep. She then looked at me, smiled and asked,
"Please I heard the Ladies washroom is around here somewhere, Can you  direct me?. The she added, why do I look like the person you waiting for, anyways that was a good hug. And she walked away.