Conditions X

Reuben: I decided to stop writing, since my inspiration to write was shredded to pieces. But a work mate told me today how she could relate with every script I wrote, and how talented she thinks I am. What inspired me most about the stuffs she said, was how she said it, and the fact that we weren't even friends. So to all those who realized my absence and called all my numbers to check up on me, I'm grateful. To all those who thought about me for a moment, and carried on with their lives, I'm grateful. To all those who waited for me to come online before asking of my whereabout, I'm grateful. To all those who realized my absence yet couldn't do anything about it, I'm grateful. To all those who called my number and couldn't reach me, I'm grateful. To all those who meant to call but couldn't, I'm grateful. To all those who didn't even realize my absence, I'm grateful. Sometimes, its those you least expect that comes through for you when you need someone to hold unto. Other times you're left all by yourself, even by those that say they love you, and you begin to doubt their love. These few days made me realize that I have no friend at all. I mean, I have people I chat with and all, but someone to call a friend, I don't have. The truth hurts, but some things; if you know, you know. I don't blame anyone actually, neither would I point fingers, cause I knew for sometime now that I didn't really have a friend. Apart from work, school and church mates; I'm basically alone. So when loneliness striked me after my phone got missing: I knew I had to endure that pain, cause no one would come looking for me, unless I reach out to them, and let them know the situation I was in. All I received was bashing from family. There and then; pain, hurt, sorrow and grief rubbed me up and handed me over to moodiness. It's a sad distin, when you are all alone. It makes you develop bitterness, carelessness and dislike for people. Yet its a cycle everyone goes through in life to build them up and mold them for a better future. Don't give up on yourself cause you think you have no one. You do have someone, you just haven't realized that someone.